Hotel for the Holidays - Check Out Early Advised
The festive season is well and truly amongst us and that means we are treated to a variety of Christmas films. This year there seems to be more released than any other, especially with Hollywood stars leading the way. The most recent one I have watched is Hotel for the Holidays starring Madelaine Petsch (Riverdale) and Mena Massoud (Aladdin). Not even their obvious good looks could carry this film and the complete lack of plot.
Christmas films have literally lost the plot.
So, the premise is that Petsch plays Georgia, the manager of Hotel Fontaine in New York City, an apparently upmarket hotel that is falling apart brick by brick. Yet despite her frustration with the facilities her guest list includes a pop star looking to find her voice again and an ex-European prince who has abdicated his throne. Georgia dreams of owning her own modern hotel but the owner Madame Fontaine rejects her pitch and challenges her to come up with half of the investment money.
But how? How could a hotel manager find the funds? You would assume this is the main plot line, but actually, there are multiple storylines running throughout the film from random hotel guests and staff. All set to the backdrop of pining chef Luke (Mena Massoud) who loves “G” from afar but is far from good at sharing his feelings with her. But we’ll get to his antics later.
The Prince and the Opportunist
At what we thought was the main plotline of where Georgia would find her investment money we actually found it in the first 20 minutes from no other than the handsome yet abdicated Prince Raymond. He was literally checking into the hotel and she sprung a business opportunity on him and so ensued two days of rooftop dinners, business real estate searching and the “best pizza” you could ever taste. I’m no hotel manager but I am pretty sure it goes against a code of conduct to proposition wealthy guests whilst they check-in. But that’s just me.
The One with all the Sandwiches
I didn’t think bread would have such a large role in this Christmas film but here we have it. Chef Luke cooks Georgia her lunch every day. If you can say you “cook” cheese toasties and serve them in cloches. Unfortunately, this delicious treat was wasted as we watched her carefully place the perfect square in her mouth and immediately pull it out because of a Christmas party disaster. G ain’t got time for those carbs.
But folks, that toastie is not the last sandwich we have to talk about. Luke, in his frustration and last desperate attempt to woo an unknowing Georgia, makes the world’s biggest Sambo as seen in this blog’s banner image. You know like Shamu, but a Sambo? Of course, G who didn’t eat her tiny cheese toastie wasn’t going to eat this monstrosity. BUT I MEAN COME ON. In haste, he hands the platter with the beached whale to Flo, the elderly barmaid, good luck to you Flo.
Meanwhile…
You might be wondering why I focused so much on the bread. But there are literally no other pivotal storylines to discuss. Luke thinks Georgia and the Prince are an item, the Prince doesn’t want Luke to be the chef at their new hotel, and Georgia’s friends are mad at her for wanting to leave Hotel Fontaine.
After being locked in an app-proof building with a dead battery Georgia realises how good she has it at the hotel and presumably with Luke (we don’t know for sure). And she is reduced by the Prince’s bodyguard who rips the door of the building. Perfect, she’s back in time for the single mingle party that her wild in a weird way friend/concierge has been planning.
The Promotions - You get a promotion, you get a promotion!
So after Georgia’s realisation that she doesn't want to enter a joint venture with the prince, she announces it in front of the measly Christmas party crowd. Thankfully he takes it well and smiles whilst holding up a champagne flute in agreement. Madame Fontaine returns to the hotel to tell Georgia the deal was off the table anyway but the replacement deal is so much better. Georgia is to become the associate director of the Hotel Fontaine and will own 49% of the entire company. I mean, what manager of 2 years could say no to that?
Georgia didn’t say no, she said within 1 minute that cooky concierge KiKi would be the new sales and marketing manager and repair man Norman would become the hotel’s manager. I mean, who needs protocols when you can just promote? Oh and she and Luke kissed somewhere amongst the party and promotions but we can’t really be sure of their relationship because there was no build-up or aha moment. But sure who needs one, it’s a Christmas movie!
Checked Out
Hotel for the Holidays definitely confirmed my suspicions that even the most modern Christmas films are still stuck in the 2000s. Terrible lighting, cheesy scripts, and poor acting even from the most talented actors. I’ve probably watched too many TV Christmas films this year and they’re all getting worse, especially in terms of their female protagonists’ portrayal. But that’s for another article completely. In short, I would not recommend this film, and due to its lack of storyline, character development, and enjoyment, it gets a Scroogey 2 stars from The O Word.