Let’s go to the Beach
The body positivity movement has taken over popular culture and social media in recent years, and rightly so. Self-comparison online has become an epidemic affecting people of all genders and ages. This article, however, will not be a scathing write-up on the harmful effects of social media because we’re already aware of these and it’s definitely another post to focus on how to be safe online. Today I am talking about shifting the body positivity movement from the online to the offline world.
Tailoring our social accounts
First thing first, I’d like to point out that on social media I try and tailor my profile so that the accounts I follow aren’t a gateway to self-comparison. To support this I follow influencers who expose the editing and posing that happens online. Accounts like Alex Light, Georgie Clarke and most recently, Lucy James who highlight how bodies move in the gym when working out. But of course, every day I still see a Kardashian, a Supermodel and/or an IG model with the new trending figure, a six-pack, abs or whatever the desirable feature is that we “want” most from someone.
If you go away from reading this article with one piece of advice it is to go experience body positivity in the real world, with real people. I’ve just returned from a week in Spain and everything for me just “clicked”.
A truly all-inclusive holiday
In recent years, excluding the past two that were impacted by the pandemic, I have always opted for a swimsuit. Not the typical Speedo one but a fun, colourful version usually missing its front & back. But this year to prove to myself that I was comfortable in my own skin I bought a couple of bikinis. My first attempt at purchase was from Shein where I bought a size large set that had to be re-gifted and looked fabulous on a 14-year-old petite teen. Back to the drawing board, I secured two bikini sets from Nasty Gal that I felt comfortable in and the price was inclusive of the entire set - even better.
So off I set to Spain with an envious false tan and 20kg of items you need “just in case”. On Day 1 of the trip, I wore my orange bikini complete with a string of colourful beads. This was something that was a big deal to me, and when I got to the pool and removed my cover-up, to my shock no one jeered, laughed or pointed. Imagine that, I had built up all this fear in my head and it didn’t come true - wild. It was the most refreshing thing at the pool, in the face of sun lounger wars and the “all-inclusivers”, to see every body type in a bikini, swimsuit, swim shorts, t-shirt in the pool - whatever you wanted.
Kiss, kiss, a-ha
By baring parts of our bodies that are often covered up during the rest of the year, people were showing their lumps, bumps, cellulite, stripes and birthmarks. I have a birthmark on my back. According to my Mother, this is where the angels kissed me as a baby. As scientifically proven as this may be, it was amazing to see so many people kissed by angels on their arms, legs or wider body.
Nothing was curated or edited in real life and my a-ha moment was that no matter how much body positivity messaging we consume online, which is an important starting point, it isn’t half as rewarding as seeing things up close and personal. There were no filters applied to people to look tanner, brighter or more “even”. Although I do think the Europeans came very close with their flawless tans whilst my long-lasting mousse melted away each day from chlorine, salt water and sweat.
Stones, sea and skin
Nicki Minaj once said, “Let’s go to the beach, each, let’s go get a wave”, and I couldn’t agree more. As rewarding as the pool experience was it was nothing in comparison to the beach. But first, I will try and set the scene of the Lloret de Mar beach. Imagine a picturesque ocean that literally glittered with the blaring sun and thousands of people lying under parasols and on sun loungers.
Then picture the sand, but in Lloret de Mar the sand is missing and has been replaced by stones. Blistering, sharp and rough stones. Whilst sand is usually unbearably hot to walk on, yet is soft, these stones were like a challenge of strength and perseverance to walk across. And when you finally got to the glorious sea and were hit by a wave the stones made it feel like an episode of “tidal”-wipe out.
But despite the lack of sand on the beach, there was something else that was plentiful. Breasts, breasts everywhere. Whilst visiting the beach for the first time my BF and I sat like 2 prudes against the wall whilst women tipped about their day topless. Whether you were a middle-aged group of friends, mother and daughter, mother and son or simply by yourself, women were embracing the topless life.
It was amazing to see, but obviously not stare, and by the end of the trip we’d become completely desensitised. To clarify, I am not nude shaming anyone, I think it’s incredible to be so brave to do so but it really highlights how in our culture nudity is something to feel anxious and awkward about. Where I would have thought it the biggest deal to sit topless and actually did the opposite by sitting in a t-shirt others took it in their stride, and how cool is that?
The biggest flex I saw was a girl around my age playing beach tennis topless, I mean could you imagine the pain with those stones and bare feet? Yet I also think it was my BF’s biggest flex, but probably not due to her pain threshold.
Nobody cares, David
So yes, it was completely revitalising to see people of all shapes, sizes, and nationalities embracing their bodies. It highlighted one very important thing, Nobody cares. A sentiment that has been reinforced by iconic TV character, Alexis Rose. On social media, there is the subcultures of hate that thrive on Reddit forums, Twitter and the comments section but you don’t see those comments in real life.
I completely appreciate that what I saw was brave, courageous women living their best life yet on the inside they may not have felt so comfortable as they appeared, I don’t know. But what I do know is that from my perspective it is so important to appreciate all bodies in the real world. Appreciate the hip-dips, the mum-bods, the dad-bods, everyone is so lucky to have a vessel that you shouldn’t hate it, you should celebrate it.
It’s behind you!
Yet another phenomenon I witnessed plenty of was the candid-uncandid photo process. I visited the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona, and when trying to appreciate the centuries of work that went into this monumental building, it was difficult not to focus on one thing. There was a girl sitting on a pillar in the courtyard across from the cathedral, with her hands flowing through her hair as she sat cross-legged and her friend took non-stop photos for five minutes.
Woe to society more was that a separate party of 2 people were waiting behind them for the entire duration so they could get their snaps on the pillar in front of this landmark. Nothing screams “Gaudi” like capturing over-the-top photography at the world’s most famous cathedral. For perspective, at this stage on my trip to Barcelona every ounce of my foundation had melted from my face, my leggings, come anti-chaffing shorts, were soaked with sweat and I couldn’t wait to get inside the SF to escape the glaring sun - thank you, Gaudi!
Just 100 more, or else
Further to Familia-gate, or pillar, I witnessed a beautiful woman in front of Barcelona’s Arc de Trimof, getting candidly uncandid pictures where she was swirling a fabulous skirt whilst laughing and smiling manically. But then she stopped swirling and smiling. She would review the photos her partner come personal photographer had taken whilst frowning and yelling at them to take more. Queue the laughter again. The whole thing is nonsense, this pressure people put on themselves for this Insta-perfect life is absolutely wild.
In a world of Esmeralda’s, be a Quasi
I understand it is difficult to share the “bad sides” online. God knows I have thousands of photos on my camera roll that will never see the light of day. I do not photograph well, one of my eyes is bigger than the others, my smile is crooked to one side and my posture goes from bad to worse, I think about asking if there is any room in the bell tower, Quasimodo?
But this is normal. Photos are snapshots of a moment of movement, our bodies change, move and stretch and that’s okay! My bikini shoot ended this way, with little rolls, lots of rolls, Vogue-worthy facial impressions and over a hundred pictures that show first-hand that for every moment we see online, there were over a hundred, or a thousand moments before and after it.
What to expect next time
P.S. My next post is about my return to Liverpool from Barcelona airport when the plane’s engine was damaged by a flock of birds. We had to turn back to BCN and what went through my mind wasn’t body related but more how I wanted to pan the man sitting behind me. But more on that later.