The Importance of Female Friendship
Given that today (Monday 13th February) is Galentine’s Day I thought it was vital to talk about the importance of female friendships. Your girls, your people, your group - they are what you plan your events around, they’re the people you’re first to tell special news to and they are your support system in terms of relationships, career, family, health and well being. Some friends have been with us from day one, others we have found along the way and there may even be some we are yet to meet. But for those we know, understand, and accept, today is the day to shed some light on each of them.
First things first, what is Galentine’s Day?
Galentine’s Day is a pop culture phenomenon from the TV series Parks and Recreation created by Amy Poehler. It is celebrated on the 13th of February, the day before Valentine’s, with the main focus on female friendships and relationships. It was conceptualised 13 years ago and is still going strong. If you Google “Galentine’s Day events” you are sure to find a bottomless brunch, discounted drink, or spa break in your local area.
But looking beyond the marketable day, it’s so important that we do value those all important female friendships, not just today but every day. There is no feeling quite like being with your friends, laughing at crazy stories from your past (or present), venting about the latest inconvenience in your life or just chilling and catching up on the latest series.
It was a simpler time
I loved living with my besties during my student days, and yes I am making that sound like years ago because I genuinely feel ancient. Our lives were carefree, if we wanted to go out on a Tuesday we could, takeaway every night of the week? 100%. Probably the best activity was the post-night out day where time wasn’t a concept, the shower was the biggest accomplishment you’d have that day and the toughest question was, will we watch another one?
It’s during these days that you laugh, cry, obsess over texts to send (or not send), and debate whether your behaviour was acceptable the night before (typically questionable). These are the memories that last forever from uni, interestingly it wasn’t the 9 am lectures or 8 am Unilink bus that I still have PTSD about.
Friends come at all different stages
Some people have friends from day one, they grow up with their girl group from primary school and are still going strong 25 years later. That’s an incredible bond. Some people find their people at a later stage whether it’s through jobs, university, or through friends-of-friends. No matter what stage of your life you find your person the relationship is just as important.
I’ve got day one friends, I have friendships that blossomed from Rices Supermarket (who would have thought?), and friends that came much later in my life. At this stage, my people are all in different areas of the UK. Some are in London, in Newcastle, in Belfast, and my “home home” of Derrynoose. Thankfully due to technology, the distance is lessened between us, and by getting together when we can the time passed feels a lot less. Special shout out to Olly Mones’ bar in Keady which has hosted every seasonal catch-up with EM for the past six years.
Some friendships lose their way, that’s life, but it doesn’t have to be forever
When reflecting on friendship, I can’t help but feel a sense of sadness for friendships that could have been but just lost their way over the years. From now-stupid and pointless arguments during high school that come with the territory of puberty and coming of age to simply not keeping in touch when distance became an issue. Some friendships could have been incredible, but those years are gone, and moved on.
So, it’s not the past we have to focus on, it’s whether we want to try and ignite those relationships again. It can be daunting reaching out to someone you lost touch with, how do you fill someone in on the past 10 years of your life? But a simple message might be enough to achieve this, the best thing you can do is try. At least if you try, you’ll not have any regrets when you’re older.
Making friends as an adult is weird, difficult and overwhelming
I’m nearly in Liverpool for one year and at the very beginning, I didn’t think I was going to meet one other friend. I felt this intense pressure to meet people and form a social circle and take up a hobby. Nobody put me under this pressure but myself. I really drilled it in that I needed to mingle and come back to Derrynoose with 20 new people to add to my hypothetical wedding guest list. This is a pretty mean feat for someone with such a tight-knit social circle like me. Thankfully, I’ve long come from this notion and have stopped putting pressure on myself for no goddamn reason.
What the experience did make me consider however was how difficult it is to make adult friendships. I did the typical things to meet people, for example, joining a gym (and not speaking to anyone there) and even joining a book club (that was a short-lived, one-time thing). For a moment I considered joining one of those friendship apps, like Tinder, but not for a relationship. Then I came to the realisation I’d probably be the statistic that didn’t make it home after her drink and a catch up so that idea was put out of my mind. I think the biggest lesson this taught me was not to think about what you should be doing but what you’re comfortable doing.
Who wants me to cry on their shoulder?
With each friend we have, we may go to each of them separately for certain advice, guidance, and compassion. I think this is important, it’s helpful to have friends from different age groups, backgrounds, and opinions. It gives you the ability to consider multiple viewpoints and take into consideration perhaps something you would have ignored (or chose to ignore).
To sum it up, I want to say a massive THANK YOU to all my incredible friends, past and present, because without you I wouldn’t be who I am today and wouldn’t have all the insane stories we get to laugh about one day in the nursing home. It’s pretty incredible that we’re still around to tell the tales today.